skazka: (Default)
I've got 15+ pages down all right. 15+ good pages, definitely not, so I emailed a draft to my supervisor and am waiting to hear back. *bites nails* With the way my brain is wired, doing anything other than write essay feels like I'm falling down on the job, even sleeping. Which unsurprisingly doesn't actually help my productivity at all, it just makes me feel totally guilt-wracked about normal aspects of writing.

Like clockwork I've written more Histories fic -- It's all pretty grim, though, 'to win thy after-love' (RSC-verse, Henry/Aumerle, serious consent issues, almost 2k) and a POV-swap remix of To Work And After, Holiday (also RSC-verse-ish, also warnings city). (At least one WIP I've got open is actually nice stuff for these characters, though, and that'll hopefully get posted some time this weekend. You can tell I feel weirdly guilty and in need of some variety.) Speaking of Histories, I need to get into the first tetralogy fast. Maybe once I have free time that's not spent being derangedly anxious. Time for incoming Wars of the Roses, maybe I can finally answer my dad's standing questions regarding what the hell Tudors are and where they come from. (Anything post-Byzantine Empire and pre-French Revolution is kind of a dim blur in terms of my formal education, on account of the school semesters devoted to those periods being pretty rough for a young Ska and memory failing, but it's cool stuff to learn on my own time and my dad's always

Yesterday was not great on the mental health front, so today is devoted to various internship-and-essay-related housekeeping tasks and lying in bed with the hugest bar of chocolate I have ever seen. (My roommate made a bunch of... s'more-based tarts? on sticks? for a campus bake sale and I woke up to seeing Roommate totally tanked out on top of the covers with heaps of freshly baked and fragrant baked goods chilling out all over every flat surface. It was pretty cool, the fact that I couldn't actually eat any of them notwithstanding.)

My music library's also been topped up -- I've had a pretty cool John Dowland transfusion and also the complete works of Queenadreena. Which is neat.

and a cut for ska's doofy love life )
skazka: (young hannibal chilling by a tree)
Spring break in Minnesota is a little lacking on the beaches-and-gross-drinks front, but I've made okay headway on this annual essay and (more importantly) had the opportunity to go through my bookshelf and pick out new stuff to take back with me. I'd totally forgotten some of the stuff I owned (A Rebours, for instance, what the hell) and now we're equipped again for a Brideshead Revisited miniseries marathon if I can round up enough people. (The last time I watched that at home my dad ended up wandering through and wandering out muttering about how he had no idea there were so many homosexuals in it, so, yeah.)

In actually kind of significant personal news -- I got my hair cut. I do a lot of awkward anxious hand-wringing about presentation and what's acceptable at school vs. what's acceptable at home, and especially as regards stuff that I can't change in a hurry it's stressful, but my parents are gradually coming to terms with the back/sides of my head being buzzed. Braced for inevitable Hermann Gottlieb comments once I get to campus, but Hermann looks great, so to hell with that. (Also, glasses. I got glasses and I look smashing; going to movies and art galleries is going to be a pretty different experience now, I'm guessing.)

For classes right now I'm reading Pride And Prejudice -- it's a very different experience now than in 9th grade, and I'm enjoying it a lot. In our discussions I'm braced for a lot of comparisons to Middlemarch (probably unfavorable, because Lord knows if we've only got a handful of female authors on the Program we should pit them against each other whenever the opportunity affords itself) but it's a pretty different animal. I've never really done the Austen pop culture thing, and my special talent for totally forgetting the specifics of stuff I watched in high school is coming in handy here; I'm having to read a lot more attentively and I'm meeting some genuine surprises along the way. (For fun reading, I'm finally reading the Lord Peter Wimsey books -- I had a dream where I was writing fic for them, despite not having read past the first few pages of Gaudy Night in the past, so I decided to get cracking on what my subconscious obviously wanted me to get into. I started with Strong Poison, though, because Harriet Vane.) I'm also set to reread one of my back-to-school books, but I can't pick, and I'm trying to hunt down a Tumblr friends' rec of A Dead Man In Deptford. When did I start owning so many books? Why do I try to bring them on the plane with me? I just don't know.

Also, have got my hands on all the Globe Live recordings of Henry IV1&2/Henry V, and a better-quality copy of Faustus. Jamie Parker is a perfect, perfectly awful Hal, and this Falstaff is excessively babely. That is all.

When we're back at school we're probably going to wrangle to see Only Lovers Left Alive when it comes out in April ("we" being me and the bunker gang/anybody else interested in skinny vampires in questionable wigs) and the Vampire Chronicles news has me thinking about what I actually want out of a vampire canon right now. The only thing that's really been a total win for me on the vampire front lately was Gileonnen's marvelous "In The Blood Of Others", but that's Coriolanus fic where the canon is already dyed in blood imagery.

Also, food! I have a box of food-type things that'll be mailed my way once I've left for campus, and there's going to be so much oatmeal in my life.
skazka: (Default)
I've been absent a bit here for non-Porn Battle related stuff but now that it's over I finally have some time to breathe! A lot of prompts I'd hoped to see didn't materialize into fic, but there's always the possibility of more later additions and at least they're still kicking around for inspiration. (And some of them that I put out there are either WIPs that just weren't finished in time or have sparked their own plotbunnies for later use, with and without porn.) My final output this Porn Battle is as follows -- caveat that as usual a few of these have warnings attached/additional content notes for rough stuff.

Corona Borealis (Greek mythology, Ariadne/Dionysus/bacchanal bystanders; prompts "bacchanalia" and "pure".)
Pray, Pray, Pray (Bright Star, Fanny/Keats; prompts "freedom", "garden", and "gingerly".)
Eye To Eye And Nose To Nose (Henry IV Part 2, Hal/Poins, prompt "matched".)
Vermilion (ASOIAF, Roose Bolton/Ramsay Bolton, prompt "garnet".)
Between The Cheats (Luther/BBC!Sherlock crossover, Alice Morgan/Jim Moriarty, prompts "femdom" and "exceptions". This is actually two shorts, I cheated.)
A Kind Of Nothing (Coriolanus, Aufidius/Martius, prompt "complications".)
Low (Always Crashing In The Same Car, Bill/Jim, prompts "blowjob"/"kneeling" and "blackmail". )
Me Of Thee Defeated (Hamlet, Hamlet/Horatio, prompts "Latin" and "university".)

Pretty much all of these need a rating reassessment something fierce though -- they're not the most explicit stuff I've ever written but I felt obliged to indicate they were porn somehow since somehow I ended up with people who actually know me and live in my dorm having an AO3 subscription to me.


classes/college talk! nothing too dire )

The weather out here is slowly improving from horrifyingly snowy to disappointingly rainy, but that's a step in the right direction, at least, and the sky's very beautiful. Spring's coming eventually, kind of, and I'm excited to head home for an even snowier but much more food-filled break at home.

Reading-wise, the bunker discovered To Be Or Not To Be: That Is The Adventure and I've got that on my Kindle now; the Kindle interface is a little buggy and not being able to physically hold my place to flip back to if I want to make another choice from the same juncture is somewhat frustrating. At our local bookstore I picked up a copy of A.S. Byatt's Possession, but it's not grabbing me so far, so I'm burying myself in plays apparently. I finished The Revenge Of Bussy D'Ambois and I'm backtracking to read the first Bussy D'Ambois (along with Marlowe's Massacre At Paris because apparently I hate myself) and I'm also picking away at The Changeling. I've still got the Variorum Richard II out from the library and I'm going over all its annotations; some of them are a little weird (the point where they chipperly suggest comparing the sunne-in-splendour motif to a swastika, for one, wtf) but it's so nice to go over this text slowly and with quite involved commentary.

In other Shakespeare news, on Friday I'm road-tripping to DC with friends to see a broadcast of the Donmar Coriolanus! It looks like a ton of fun ahead of us, but my big concerns at this point are: a) where on earth we'll eat in DC, since we'll be making a day of it, we're cheap students and 2/3 of us are picky eaters; b) if we'll be embarrassingly underdressed or overdressed as is our custom (see again Ska Is A Collegey Jackass); c) if the abrupt dubsteppy scene transitions will bug Mermaid, since she and I both have AUGH SURPRISE LOUD NOISE issues. The friends in question are good company, though, and we haven't been to DC since I came out here so it's as good a time as any.
skazka: (Default)
Spring is... kinda sorta here? It snowed again today, but it was only a little dusting of snow, so it doesn't count.

Porn Battle is in full swing for me, but alas, everything I'm writing is a little grim. I have a few cuter/more positive fics in progress, but the fluffiest things I have posted so far are Hamlet fic and two rotten villains having kinky funtimes, so my fun-dar might be skewed. Something not plastered in content notes would be a good first step, I think.

So far, to wit: )

School-wise, things are going along well, I think -- we're on our sixth Kant seminar out of nine, and while I'm enjoying it passably well and feeling moderately participatory for our philosophy discussions it's been hard to keep up in class while sick and I sort of accidentally came off to both my tutors like I was dying. (Poor phrasing happened to me.) My cough is improving and with luck will be gone by Valentine's Day -- which is nice, because I might have a date! (But then again, I might not. Drag Ball was this weekend, with very little time to prepare; I was a sort of intergalactic Kit Marlowe pirate in a coat I borrowed from a friend and am secretly hoping I won't have to give back. Like every year, it was missing the point of drag anything immensely by basically being any other Reality party in all other respects, but we had our own after-party dancing in the basement common room to various anthemic accompaniments and that was nice.) I can finally access the application for the internship I'm gunning for; this requires transcribing some Civil War-era legal documents, which has been a fun learning experience on one level and also deeply infuriating and upsetting on another.

(On a couple of other levels this has been a rocky few weeks, but I've been getting a lot of work done and trying to read a lot.)
skazka: (young hannibal chilling by a tree)
mostly school stuff in here and finances talk, some of it a bit sad, cut to save my flist! )

Finally made it to S2 of Luther -- it's still more hard than I can quite handle. I like Jenny a lot, and the character of Toby really makes me wish David Dawson would get to play someone decent -- Toby's like an evil Tom Hiddleston, rubbing cocaine on his gums and horribly mistreating women and having an ingratiating little laugh, and while Dawson's performance is very good it is also powerfully unpleasant. In addition to more narrative-level problems, that show really rattles me in general in a way most crime dramas don't, which is pretty cool from a directing POV but not so good for me as an individual.

Writing-wise, I wrote Duchess Of Malfi fic to get that out of my brain and am writing more (though not more Ferdinand fic -- see notes on David Dawson, powerful unpleasantness. etc.) Gothic Horror AU is still coming along very gradually, and I've made exactly two lines' headway on the fic for Noel Coward's The Vortex I had taken upon myself to do, which... oof. Porn Battle is also a thing I mean to do, which is hopefully going to be super fun -- they will know me by my weirdly specific word associations.
skazka: (young hannibal chilling by a tree)
First Middlemarch seminar has happened! My French tutor wants an essay about it by next Friday, which I think I can do, and then a whole bunch of Kant is headed my way. I've also got my copy of the Globe Doctor Faustus on DVD clutched in my sweaty hand (okay, lying next to me on the gross common room couch) and I'm ready to roll with that as soon as I have the free time. We're translating Racine's Ph├Ędre in Language; I'm not sure how I actually feel about it yet, because I'm 30 lines in, but the classroom discussions have been pretty engaging and fruitful.

(In fic news: I've fallen into Sherlock fic again and I'm never going to be able to escape.)
skazka: (young hannibal chilling by a tree)
Welp, that is... two fire alarms on campus too many for two days. Friend just came down here and dropped in on our tabletop session to shelter from the cold/drippiness outside after the alarm went off in his dorm, and it seems to be an actual fire this time, so golly.

Yuletide assignments are out! Doing the thing. Henriad precept starts next Thursday, so time to get my pregame on for that, too.
skazka: (jean-baptiste)
Yuletide noms, almost upon us! A bit sad that I can't nab Paradise Lost after all, but it means I can get Stoker in there. I've been gunning for that to be a Yuletide fandom since last Yuletide, though then it was the screenplay, which is a whole different animal.

This whole weekend feels like it didn't happen -- I'm groanish and sick and sad, my only class on Friday was cancelled, and that was when the massive drama bomb about college politics happened and basically took me out of commission for the next two days. We watched some Disney movies, though, and I'm making good headway on my work, though I can't shake the feeling that I must have done something really wrong if I've gotten all my work done by Friday afternoon. Also, finally got around to downloading Hadestown. All in all, I think I've been more productive than my brain wants me to think, it's just been a weird couple of days.

(Methinks I need a default icon change -- I've been Millais!Ophelia for years and years now and I don't know how I feel about it any more.)
skazka: (young hannibal chilling by a tree)
In somewhat happier news, I've got a few more plays written, am working out how to podfic, have laundry in the dryer right now and have made my entry into the wild world of actual essays concerning Queer Theory. It's definitely going over my head mostly and if I have to read the word "homosocial" again I'll cry, but it's very diverting. (Also flashing back to last year's Chaucer. Whee!)

I'm also writing a lab report on our Galileo shenanigans and hung-over teen king adventures. (Separately, idk, maybe he and his buds can drop heavy objects off of things from varying heights at 3 in the morning while John of Gaunt's trying to get beauty sleep.) This is the culmination of all my endeavors.
skazka: (Default)
Somehow, one way or another, I'll get actual content back on here.

I'm delaying packing for heading back east by watching The Thick Of It at Kate's with Mardia (putting off writing fic for her, too, but when am I not) and I'm frankly a little terrified by this array of flushed hobbity-looking dudes and appealingly long teeth. It's an embarrassment of dude riches. If you like belligerent men slapping things, which I apparently do sometimes.

things I'm writing:

- more Miserable Medieval Marrieds. (The more I write this, the more my brain goes into crackfic freefall and starts spitting out ideas for the Swan Princess AU where Bolingbroke's a Don Bluth-y swan by day or more of the unsolicited modern day office AU, which has definitely Been Done.)

- some Pacific Rim things (people want a sequel to The One With The Noncon, huh)

- some plays for TML when I get back on campus -- hoooopefully this year will be a bit less of a shitshow. (One of these is the Falstaff-and-Snapchats one, and that's the whole thing, right there.)

- still making more of "One More Rung". (Charles and Camilla exist, right? They're the stragglers here, I've already got the shortfic for Julian's lightbulb moment written out.)

And I opted to celebrate the cancellation of Demon Knights with a fic about Sir Ystin, Reluctant Vampire Dark Lord. Which is kind of fun?


But yeah, school, exciting -- it's like 85 degrees over there and I've got to get all my super suspicious personal belongings unpacked before anyone can rustle through it. Deeeefinitely not entirely finished with the assigned reading, but I'll be on campus for about a week before actual class begins, with plenty of time to agonize over fart jokes and cry.
skazka: (Default)
Regular updates on the state of Skaland: Just had a lengthy phone call with my dad. It... doesn't sound like I've been outed to anyone yet? Which is calming, but I'm not going to rejoice just yet. So I'm just writing an essay on Lycurgus while listening to Adam Lambert. Nbd.

I live!

Sep. 21st, 2011 10:03 am
skazka: (duma angel androgyny)
Okay, I feel like I should seriously be doing more actual blogging, but then school completely devoured my life. So basically: settled into my dorm, settled (more or less) into my class routine. The campus itself is really freaking insular, so when we do venture out into town it's... a bit of a shock. Suddenly: cars! People making rude gestures! And I get used to a very specific pattern of speech on campus, which suddenly has to switch off as soon as someone calls to check in or we're out in public. Found some promising-seeming friends, getting together T's birthday present (cloves, chocolate, and Vampire Chronicles, I am the best friend) putting up a bunch of postcards in lieu of proper art, and hosting an impromptu Wednesday night movie thing as an alternative to the rather embarrassing party out on the quad that night.

I'm a little frightened by how positive I've been feeling -- I've definitely had moments where I feel terrible, and I'm still not well, but I seem to be adjusting much better than I'd anticipated. Everything feels a little less private, which is weird (I miss having a bathroom that locks, shit) and guess who still doesn't have a job, but overall? I feel good. And it's very very strange. I've still been unbelievably, hellishly busy and unable to write a damned thing, but maybe I can pick that up again shortly? Because not having time for any kind of hobby here really really sucks.

The student mental health support group here meets when I'm not even awake on Saturdays, so ack. But I'm doing okay, I think.

Also, in other news: I am now ~of age~. Scandal erupts, etc. (Hence why I was able to buy clove cigarettes cigars.)
skazka: (Default)
I have this to my name: I am Not Dead. Which is pretty nice, actually. School year's coming to a close, college decisions have been made, and I'm still in a really rough place right now personally but I'm generally rolling in the right direction. I think.
skazka: (Default)
I'm having a weird, emotional, draining day, literally starting from the moment I got out of bed-- which was at 4 AM, in the grips of weird and completely objectless anxiety. I ended up sleeping in K's room (sorry, K). The whole weirdfeeling was only amplified by getting the news that yes dad actually has made an appointment with a brainmeats-doctor for me, but this means I'll actually be started on the diagnosis thing officially, and he's really awkward on the subject matter in general. I've just been kind of on the brink of relieved-scared-humiliated-eager-pointless tears all day.

But I'm starting on Yuletide already and I'm reading a certain someone's incredibly amazing Watchmen-Dracula mashup (as in, after the plot of and to a degree In The Style Of-- this Dan is the most incredibly adorable adorkable Dan you will ever meet.) That's here, at the Watchmen KM.

Yuletide has me stymied this year-- I reread last year's letter and it made me cringe and wonder how anyone wrote someone so prissy fic. I don't want to make a massive brick o' Dear Santa/Yule Goat/Writer letter, but I don't want to just say :DDDDD GO WILD and leave them nothing to go on. Hmm, hurm, hrm. Also this year I'm pondering if I'll get a beta-- Lord knows I could use it, with how my fic tends to loop on and on without a plot and with itty bitty canon details slipping by the wayside like who ends up with whom. But given the fandoms I'm pondering (you'll see, oh yes, you'll see) there might not even be someone to serve as one. Still. AM I STOKED OR WHAT. I have an essay to write tonight, but who cares YULETIIIIIDE


Also, dear Boy At School: no, you do not get "privileges" (especially not the privilege of calling other students faggots) because "well, don't I act kinda gay?" Classy as balls, you.
/your complimentary bitching for today

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