skazka: (young hannibal chilling by a tree)
Long Weekend is upon us! Planning gifts for friends and watching a lot of movies of variable quality; we're about halfway through our Gankutsuou rewatch and I forgot a) how formative that show was in terms of tropes I jam on, and b) how fucking weird that storyline is when viewed from underneath, so to speak. Also how much I love ambiguously vampiric fuckups. (We also finished watching the '31 Dracula, which... retroactively shed a lot of light on Astolat's excellent fic A Mind Overborne (god, I'm so embarrassed) and was interesting, if not fully satisfying to my needs as a Dracula adaptation. There's some strange shuffling of character roles (helloooo, Renfield-Jonathan hybridization! also conspicuously minimal Lucy! also a notable absence of Quincey, though I'm not a big Quincey stan) and narrative compression due to its nature as an adaptation of an adaptation and talk about weird. Finally saw No Country For Old Men also.

Miserable Medieval Marrieds has a title and is a bit more polished, but still isn't cohesive or anywhere near finished. I don't know if I should publish this first scene separately or wait however long it takes for it to grow more scenes and a plot; I've kept Mardia waiting long enough in either case.

behind the cut, mental health talk; talking about alcohol and general navelgazing )
skazka: (Default)
I have this to my name: I am Not Dead. Which is pretty nice, actually. School year's coming to a close, college decisions have been made, and I'm still in a really rough place right now personally but I'm generally rolling in the right direction. I think.
skazka: (Default)
I haven't posted on LJ in ages, good God. So anyway, hello everyone on my flist; I have not, in fact, died. It's been a remarkably shitty month for my mental health, but I am still here, kicking around and getting college letters and the like.

Other things I have been up to:

- drinking a lot of Diet Coke.
- going to Kuk Sool and punching my feelings in the head.
- my usual bad behaviors.
- waiting to hear back from my colleges of choice.
- making homemade all-natural hand lotion, and giggling all the while because before you make an emulsion that stuff is basically lube.
- Episcopalian Wine And Wisdom Trivia Night.
- crying.
- school.
- school.
- school.
- going on a historical clothing and costuming jag.
- rereading my Anne Rice stash.
- some more crying
- cutting my fingertips on piggy banks.
- investing more in my queerness.
- painting my nails, only to have my nails themselves crack.
- etc., etc.
skazka: (Default)
I'm having a weird, emotional, draining day, literally starting from the moment I got out of bed-- which was at 4 AM, in the grips of weird and completely objectless anxiety. I ended up sleeping in K's room (sorry, K). The whole weirdfeeling was only amplified by getting the news that yes dad actually has made an appointment with a brainmeats-doctor for me, but this means I'll actually be started on the diagnosis thing officially, and he's really awkward on the subject matter in general. I've just been kind of on the brink of relieved-scared-humiliated-eager-pointless tears all day.

But I'm starting on Yuletide already and I'm reading a certain someone's incredibly amazing Watchmen-Dracula mashup (as in, after the plot of and to a degree In The Style Of-- this Dan is the most incredibly adorable adorkable Dan you will ever meet.) That's here, at the Watchmen KM.

Yuletide has me stymied this year-- I reread last year's letter and it made me cringe and wonder how anyone wrote someone so prissy fic. I don't want to make a massive brick o' Dear Santa/Yule Goat/Writer letter, but I don't want to just say :DDDDD GO WILD and leave them nothing to go on. Hmm, hurm, hrm. Also this year I'm pondering if I'll get a beta-- Lord knows I could use it, with how my fic tends to loop on and on without a plot and with itty bitty canon details slipping by the wayside like who ends up with whom. But given the fandoms I'm pondering (you'll see, oh yes, you'll see) there might not even be someone to serve as one. Still. AM I STOKED OR WHAT. I have an essay to write tonight, but who cares YULETIIIIIDE

Also, dear Boy At School: no, you do not get "privileges" (especially not the privilege of calling other students faggots) because "well, don't I act kinda gay?" Classy as balls, you.
/your complimentary bitching for today


skazka: (Default)

September 2017

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